|Publication date||May 16, 2011|
(Continuing from Lassie) The Mistress prepares to torture Ivan and asks him to name five things he has done that he should be executed for. The lizard of guilt teases Ivan by suggesting embarrassing things he should confess to, and Ivan loses his temper, shouting at the lizard. Unfortunately, since the lizard is a ghost, the Mistress cannot see him and thinks Ivan is shouting at her. Ivan is shot with the arrow of regret and slumps. Now alone with no one to torment, the lizard bemoans its own guilt.
- "In which an iron is heating but we don't see it"
- "for extra points, present your five sins as a song"
- "tweak his beard until he talks"
- "Business as usual in the passive-aggressive torture chamber"
- "sorry, where's the albatross?"
- "The arrow of regret apologises for not shooting you sooner. Busy schedule."