|Publication date||October 31, 2010|
Fairest, is a single-page Oglaf story.
A bard begins telling a story about the most beautiful fairy of all, but the audience leaves when he tells them she has a square head the shape of an apple box. He returns to his room and masturbates to the sight of a pair of apple boxes.
- "fairest to middlingest"
- "She's amazingly good at Tetris, for someone with no eyes."