|Rating||Safe and Moral|
|Publication date||February 20, 2011|
(Continuing from Undercroft) An assembly of citizens of Vanorva discuss the slut (Ivan) and his possible relation to the disappearance of twenty-four men of the town. One opinion is that the slut must have killed them, but an elder citizen points out that the killer is stealthy and clever, which Ivan is not.
Meanwhile, Ivan acquires a monster from a store and places it in a bag, but the monster bites him though the bag as he tries to leave the city. After removing the monster from his thigh Ivan looks into the bag. As he does so, the monster explodes. A mysterious stranger tells Ivan that ninety percent of monsters explode when exposed to the sun.
The stranger then drugs Ivan and drags him away.
The second page of this story has a cut off lower right corner. This is normally used only on the last page of a story. This is the longest "Safe" story in Oglaf.
- "meanwhile in the ivory tower"
- "the customer is always right but sometimes stabbed for it."
- "20% off all bitey bags today only"
- "sensible sun hats for monsters"
- "even rarer are the monsters that explode in gravity"
- "only god can judge. and he hates sluts"
- "I had a beautiful dream that nothing bad was about to happen"