|How They Get You|
|Title||How They Get You|
|Publication date||October 23, 2011|
How They Get You is a single-page Oglaf story.
An old woman regales a pair of young travellers with tales about how different things get you, from snakes in one's pants to spiders in instruments to fire and ghost sharks. She then pulls out a knife and tells them that she will stab them and take their belongings, but is snatched by a giant eagle before she can do so.
- "Everything's about you but in a bad way."
- "Fried food gets you by being delicious."