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Ivan
Ivanpinecone
Ivan holding a Pinecone in A Pinecone

Name

Ivan

Gender

Male

First appearance

Cumsprite

Ivan (or as he is more commonly referred to in the comics, the apprentice) could be considered the main character of Oglaf. He is a nineteen-year-old sorcerer apprentice to the Mistress enticed to learn magic himself by a 'help wanted' sign. Ivan's first appearance coincided with the first Oglaf story, Cumsprite. Ivan's name was first mentioned in the title The Good Ship Ivan. The first time when his name was mentioned by another character was in the epilogue of Emancipation.

About IvanEdit

BackgroundEdit

Previouslysign

Ivan decides to become an sorcerer's apprentice in Some Time Ago....

After a tragic "accident" claimed Mistress' former apprentice (it involved a rectally inserted fire-wand), Ivan became the Mistress' apprentice after reading a notice sign saying APPRENTICE WANTED, LEARN MAGIC!

Ivan serves in the Mistress' palace. He is given unusual duties, and in between is a source of amusement for both the Mistress and the Castle Guards. Ivan has tolerated a curse put upon him by the Mistress (to prevent him from the tragedy of "wanking himself into a coma") in that his ejaculate turns into a sentient creature called a Cumsprite which informs the Mistress of his actions (for a reward of splashing on her breasts). He has had his penis (magically) removed and used in a game of hide and seek, he has been captured by the Changelings, sent fake love letters by the guards, poisoned by the Xoan ambassador, and been used as a rowboat. To date he hasn't learned any magic.

During the Shaft story arc, Ivan was given a number of 'crap tributes', a decision by the Mistress induced by the Incense of Bad Decisions and leading to a series of events that ultimately culminated in his apparent demise in Albatross. However, in the following strip, Lament, Ivan is revealed to be alive but to be in "some kind of magical sleep". Aside from Sandoval's segment mourning his body in Lament, he has not been heard from since.

PersonalityEdit

Ivan seems to be rather intelligent, resisting baiting by the Castle Guards and Mistress in a number of the comics. Examples are using jars to hide his Cumsprite, as well as using the curse to obtain his freedom from the Changelings. However, his cleverness has gotten him in trouble after being poisoned by Sandoval.

Ivan is a noted virgin and is actively deprived of any sexual pleasures, despite the attempts of Sandoval. His virginal state is a point of torment, and has had an obvious impact on Ivan's personality. It allowed him to enter the Immaculate City and meet the vampire Navaan, where she threatened to have sex with him, much to his delight.

Currently, Ivan is quite unconscious and presumed dead, but has been promised a return to the series. The Oglaf Twitter feed has stated, "He's not well, but he definitely isn't dead - so he'll absolutely be back (once he wakes up)." -Jun 21st

AppearanceEdit

Ivanmark

The Mistress' mark on Ivan's chest seen in Shaft.

Ivan has somewhat long brown hair and a goatee. Most of the time he wears a hat with horns. The authors have confirmed that "Horns not on armor are a mark of sorcery." On his chest below his left collarbone has the Mistress' mark. It has been noted by many fans that Ivan has gotten progressively more good-looking as the series developed: starting out skinny, nerdy, and cartoonish, Ivan has gradually become lean, muscular and well-hung, although it is uncertain if this is due to the comics' evolving art style or as a nod to Ivan's growing number of fans.

SexualityEdit

Ivan is noted to still be a virgin, though what this actually means is that he has never had his penis in a vagina. For being a virgin he has a quite wide sexual experience. Especially his interactions with Navaan in "Nightfall" and Ivan and Navaan's 'Doesn't Count' Kama Sutra should be noted. He appears to be heterosexual, being eager to have sex with the Mistress or Navaan, and is apparently oppositional to Sandoval's advances. He seems to compensate for his lack of sex with frequent masturbation, despite being forbidden by the Mistress. This has resulted in the enchantment of his semen, causing it to transform into a Cumsprite just after he ejaculates.

AbilitiesEdit

Cumcreate

The creation of a Cumsprite, made from Ivan's semen.

Ivan's most notable ability is to create Cumsprites by ejaculating. Except for that, Ivan does not appear to have any overnatural abilities, and even the Cumsprite ability he only has due to the Mistress' magic. He is of course the Mistress' apprentice to learn magic, but as confirmed by the authors on their Twitter account, the promise of teaching magic has so far been an empty promise.

RelationshipsEdit

The MistressEdit

As the Mistress' apprentice, Ivan is her complete subordinate. Although she occasionally gives him work (like Succubus oiling) in the castle, her primarily use of him seems to be as amusement. She seems to really enjoy teasing him sexually and leaving him in sexual despair. But as seen in Rapunzel, it is clear that she doesn't value him particularly highly and considers him replaceable. She does however decide to kill her new apprentice in favor of Ivan in the Emancipation epilogue. Ivan does obviously fear his Mistress, but he also finds her very sexually appealing and in the Emanicipation epilogue he seems to express a hope that deep inside she likes him.

Following the events of Shaft and Ivan's visit in Vanorva the Mistress doesn't have any mercy for him and decides to execute him.

SandovalEdit

Sandoval seems to have found great liking in Ivan, sexually and possibly even on a personal level, but due to Sandoval's ambivalent nature it is hard to determine what he really feels. Ivan however does not appreciate Sandoval's advances.

NavaanEdit

They had "doesn't count sex". Awesome.

List of AppearancesEdit

Non-story appearancesEdit

TriviaEdit

  • Ivan is the character that has appeared in the most Oglaf stories. He has appeared in thirty-three stories yet, nine more than the Mistress.
Oglaftweet002

A Nov. 1, 2012 tweet confirming that Ivan will return.

Oglaftweet003

November 25, 2012 tweet confirming the planned return of Ivan.

  • Despite Ivan's absence from the comic since May of 2011, and his apparent death, a tweet on November 1, 2012 confirms that the character is intended to return eventually. Later tweets in November confirm that a new story featuring the return of Ivan is currently in the works.
  • Tweets in May of 2015 reconfirmed that a "long arse fukken EPIC" story was being made, but that no ETA was available (tweet).

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