|Publication date||November 1, 2015|
Tracts for the Times
Vanka breaks into a man's home and the man asks if she is after his priceless semen. Vanka says that she is only interested in his gems, but is sexually aroused by how pathetic he is. When it turns out that his "gems" are just painted rocks, she decides to have sex with him, but then discovers he really does have priceless semen when he ejaculates rubies.
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- "empathy sex is better than pity sex and pity sex knows it."
- "I joined the LAPD, not realising they didn't do lapidary."
- "Pity is aroused by another's misfortune."
- "It takes years to learn how to cut a gemstone but seconds to glue googly eyes to it instead."