Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.
Magical items in the Oglaf universe as defined here are normally inanimate objects that have been enchanted to posses magical properties, either to perform a specific function (such as a golem guarding a door) or to produce a magical effect or spell (such as a wand). The following is a list of magical items that have appeared in Oglaf.
Amulet of Making People Say You're Awesome in Bed Even Though You're NotEditSex partners of the user of this amulet will tell others that the user is a skilled lover, regardless of the user's actual love making skill, no matter how disappointed they are. Appearances: Prowess
Arrow of RegretEditThe Arrow of Regret is a cursed arrow that is activated by dropping it. Once activated, it will disappear from its current location and reappear embedded in a nearby person or living creature as if the person or creature has been shot with a bow. If the person or creature dies or pulls the arrow out, the arrow is passed on to another victim in a chain reaction. The only way to break the curse is to return the arrow to the person who activated it (meaning shooting that person with the arrow). The effect of shooting the instigator with the arrow is to cause that person to fall into a state of magical sleep. The Arrow of Regret caused a series of deaths in the Mistress's castle when it was accidentally activated by Ivan. Ivan was later shot with the arrow under the orders of the Mistress, putting him in a state of magical sleep. Appearances: Shaft, Two Reports, Albatross
Best at Sex Trophy Edit
After having sex a little hooded umpire issues from it in a waft of smoke, and flags the winner.
Appearances: Self-Awarding Trophy, Semi-Final Edit
Book of Forbidden Love Edit
Effects not shown. Presumably similar to the Book of Love. Also capable of speaking. Appearances: Book of Love
Book of LoveEditThe Book of Love simulates sexual acts on the user, but will close and shelf itself before the user can orgasm. Appearances: Book of Love
Chariot That's Waaay Faster Than YouEditCreated by the Dwarves. This chariot is so fast that by the time you arrive it has already been there for six hours. Don't ask the dwarves what happens if you drive in it or their brains will explode. Appearances: Cavalcade of Wonders
City of VanorvaEdit
Main Article: Vanorva
A magical city that only virgins can see or enter. When a youth from the city lost his virginity to Navaan, the city and its inhabitants disappeared.
Curly SwordEditWhile this sword appears to be genuinely magical, floating in a shaft of light and emitting a bright flash when used, the exact nature of the curly sword is unknown. It was used as a ruse by the fun cult to trick adventures into using it against their god, the funworm. Because it was a real weapon, it was incapable of harming the funworm, which could only be harmed by fake weapons. Appearances: The Sword that Cannot be Sheathed, Funstrike
Dentist's StaffEditA magical staff used by a dentist. The dentist used it to cure a rampaging beast's impacted molar. Appearances: Overbite
After determining that a feeling of emotional connection was important to arousal in women, a vender decided to sell enchanted dildos with personalities. The initial example of the enchanted dildo merely insulted the customer and remained unpurchased. Appearances: Shaft of Drama
This hatstand encouraged the Forbidden Door to leave the Mistress's castle after the door failed in its mission to tempt Ivan. Appearances: Blue Door
Main article: Fake Death
An artifact resembling a chicken's egg that will create an inanimate copy of the person it is used on, resulting in a false corpse.
FeliciaEditFelicia is a magic potion that is splashed the skin and causes its victims to disappear from the city of Vanorva and have vivd halucinations of a beautiful woman named Felicia. It was used by Navaan and her "friends" to remove men from Vanorva so they could be killed. The effects of the potion are short lived however, and the halucinatory images created by the potion become distorted as the potion wears off. Appearances: Potion of Girlfriend, Lassie
Implied (but not shown) to project fire. The Mistress sodomized one of her apprentices with a fire wand, then activated it, incinerating him. Appearances: Some Time Ago...
The Forbidden Door (a.k.a. The Forbidden Raft)Edit
This door attempted to lure Ivan into going in to the room behind it. Ivan was not fooled by the door and refused to use it. The door then fled the Mistress's castle and began a new career as a raft. Appearances: Blue Door
Fountain of Death/Fountain of Water So Delicious Even Dead People Want ItEdit
The water from this fountain either kills its drinker or somehow attracts dead people to drink from it. Appearances: Fountain of Death
Fountain of DoubtEdit
The water from this fountain is either non-magical or makes the drinker doubt it is magical. Appearances: Fountain of Doubt
Fountain of GirlEdit
The water from this fountain will transform the drinker into a blonde woman in a white string bikini. All drinkers, including animals, take the same form, becoming identical women. Appearances: Fountain of Girl
Ice creatures with human like appearance. An army of ice golems was created by a mage to protect the frost saphire. Because the golems degraded over time, the mage gave them the ability to reproduce sexually. This plan was thwarted by Vanka however when she introduced the golems to pornography magazines, distracting the golems from real breeding long enough to degrade without reproducing. Appearances: Cryophilia
Incense of Bad Decisions (a.k.a. Incense of Wisdom)EditAs the name suggests, the Incense of Bad Decisions causes people under the influence of its scent to make bad decisions. The alchemist who created the incense burned a cone of it while he was working on it and came under the influence of it himself, causing him to label the rest of the cones "Incense of Wisdom". The Mistress came under the influence of it when a cone of it was sent to her as a tribute. Appearances: Portrait
A potion that you are supposed to give to the person you love to make that person fall in love with you. Drinking the potion yourself however will cause you to fall in love with the potion. Appearances: Love Potion
Magic BoxEditMakes you want whatever's in it. The Mistress used it to trick Ivan into performing fellatio on Sandoval. Appearances: A Pinecone
Magic StoneEditThis stone holds a sword and will only allow the sword to be drawn by the chosen king. Great caution must be exercised to avoid humping the hole the sword comes out of however, or the stone will trap the humper. Appearances: Noblesse Obligee
Mask of PowerEditIts function is neither described nor demonstrated, but it is evil and presumably powerful enough that the king from A Very Deep Chasm felt it needed to be broken into pieces and hidden in a labyrinth. Unfortunately, the twelve legged beast guarding the labyrinth reassembled the mask and escaped with it. Appearances: Failsafe
Ring of BlissEdit
Ring of OptimismEdit
A ring that causes its user to become cheerful and optimistic, even when optimism is not called for. Appearances: Umbra Wynterdarque
Rope of UntyingEdit
Appears in only one panel as one of the "crap" tributes given to Ivan. Its function is never demonstrated, but presumably it unties any knot put in it, rendering it useless. Appearances: Shaft
Sheela Na GigEdit
This entrance to a tall tower takes the form of a ten foot tall woman's vulva with a vagina large enough for a grown man to fit inside. It appears to be able to transfer the sensation of touch back to the older woman who presumably created it. Appearances: Sheela Na Gig
Wand GolemEditCreated by the Dwarves. A golem made of magic wands that shoots fire and shit everywhere. Appearances: Cavalcade of Wonders
Wand of Killing YourselfEditThis wand killed poor Theanodor. Please use it with caution. Appearances: Umbra Wynterdarque
Wish DollyEditSee Main Article
When the Wish Dolly chooses to speak, it seems to enjoy both attempting to entice people into making wishes and mocking them for the unforeseen consequences of their wishes. It also seems either unable or unwilling to reverse wishes.
False Magical ItemsEdit
In some Oglaf stories there are items that are claimed to be magical, but later turn out to be hoaxes. Among these are the following:
"Magical" Animal TeethEditNot actually magical. These teeth were sold to an unfortunate adventuress by a sorcerer's shop at the east gate of a city. The shop told the woman that they would transform into skeleton warriors when thrown on the ground. When used, they turned out to be ordinary teeth. Appearances: Use Item
"Magical" ScabbardEditNot actually magical. A vender tricked an adventurer into buying this scabbard by using ventriloquism to convince him that it would speak like a sexually aroused woman whenever a sword was inserted into it. Appearances: Scabbard
Appears to not be magical. Allegedly used to control time itself. Thrown over the head, it's like night. Appearances: Blanket